The Fallout Parent

The Fallout Parent
Definition: The guardian of an active toddler or child who faces a challenging situation when trying to find brief moments of time to play one of the best RPGs of all time. 

I grew up a console gamer and did not get my first PC until late in life (Ah, the joys of growing up poor in Alabama). So I missed the crazy wave of old school classic video games when the first came out: Fallout, Planescape: Torment, Wasteland, Baldur's Gate and more. Instead it was just me and my console, my prized possession that took nearly a year to save for and buy. 

So when Fallout 3 was coming out, I was psyched! Could it be true? A game that happened in my city, that was an RPG in a sci-fi setting and with a customizable character creation? For me this meant no stock generic (white) hero, but instead, a suave black gunslinger wandering the wasteland bringing justice (with words or deadly hot plasma) and a quick quip.  And then New Vegas hit! Another gold mine of a game but I've got to point out -- the music was not as good. I missed Three Dog and those damn Rad Scorpios for the first few levels.  For me, New Vegas was fun but Fo3 was better and spoke to me more. It could be that whole first Doctor syndrome (the first one you encounter is your favorite). 

Now I'm a console and PC gamer with a love for modding. This has enabled me to play amazing content created by fans to play other fans' ideas. There are so many talented people that could be working for gaming companies out there.

Then Fallout 4 was announced. Gleeful excitement but an under layer of concern. Would it live up to expectations? This would be the first time Fallout had ever added voice actors for the protagonist. Awesome! Of course, I ordered it instantly when it dropped and got my Pipboy edition. 

When I put the disc into my Ps4, this was different. And not just because I had been battling a vicious cold that won out. No . . . no . . . I hear the mental laughing about the sick notes for work from Bethesda but alas, my sickness was not of the wasteland. 

The crazy thing is, this is the Fallout game that I was not able to just sit down and play for hours on end. I devoured the first two and did not emerge from the vault for weeks, having logged more hours than I will admit.  Other than going to work, which usually had me talking about the game with co-workers, I was all Fallout all the time. But that was not an option this time. This time, I am the parent of an incredibly brilliant, energetic and funny two-year-old toddler, and she pretty much takes up all of my free time, which then leaves both of us worn out. I think about how I want to play this game, where I could easily sink 100 hours into exploring the world, getting every perk, finding every bobblehead and now no LEVEL LIMIT! I remember how it used to be just me, Fallout, and a heavy pour of Lagavulin. For the week or so that I have had the game and my awesome daughter, I have logged maybe 10 hours and those were hours that should have been spent writing. Yea. My insomniac hours. These are the choices a Fallout Parent makes.  

My actually thoughts on the game? It is incredible. It is a feels like a vastly improved version of F03 taking all of the good things from New Vegas, stuff the fans have asked for and some have created, and rolled into one game. Is it perfect? No, but it is a crap ton of fun and focuses more on the world, the people you meet and gives you a simple motivation to get you started. 

The constant struggle of geeking vs. good parenting . . . I am slowly discovering the path. I will eventually introduce my daughter to gaming when she is older but perhaps something more kid-friendly to begin (as her dad loves the Bloody Mess Perk!).  

All of this really struck home on Saturday; after her nap, all I wanted to do was try to sneak in a little game play. But instead, I sealed the vault, fixed her a snack and watched a little Daniel Tiger before we went for a walk . . . 

For those interested, my character: 

Langston Wright (The Sole Survivor) - Level 11 - Generalist
Strength  3
Perception 5
Endurance 3
Charisma 5
Intelligence 8
Agility 4
Luck  4

Perks:
Armor 1
Barbarian 1
Gun Nut 1
Junktown Vendor 1
Locksmith 1
Science! 1
Scrapper 1
Toughness 2

Companion:
Dogmeat or Nick (for right now).

Gear:
Loads but a couple of stat boosting items and a focus on pistols.

My First Gaming Convention...and What a Gaming Convention It Was!

Guest Post by Jill Spivey

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I should preface this post by saying that I was only introduced to gaming five years ago when I met my ever-loving husband Chris. I have played in a couple campaigns and a few one shots, but I am a newbie, by all accounts. So when Chris came to me with this wild idea to attend Metatopia after being invited by some unknown-person-to-me Avie, I was perhaps a little hesitant. Flash forward a few months later, and we arrive in glorious Morristown, New Jersey. (I'm poking fun because we actually quite enjoyed the little town, but it's not exactly where I think of taking a weekend away from the kid, you know?)

Morristown NJ Breakfast of Champions: Jersey Boy Bagels

Morristown NJ Breakfast of Champions: Jersey Boy Bagels

My impressions of Metatopia as a relatively new gamer and a first-time gaming convention attendee:

SO. MANY. GAMERS.

I know it's a small-ish con compared to many others, but to somebody who's only sat in a room with a maximum of seven gamers at a time, 500+ feels like a lot! And there are so many gamers with so much to say about gaming in general. I was probably the quietest you'll ever see me, mostly just taking it all in, and realizing that on a scale of 1 - 10 on the geek scale, I rank about a weak 2.8. I definitely have some geek-building to do. 

What was probably most incredible about all these gamers in one space was how warm and welcoming everyone was. Brennen, one of Chris's long lost high school friends, introduced us around, and we had the chance to meet a tremendous amount of people who are interested in the same things we are: creating a more inclusive gaming community. Metatopia was a very inclusive space, especially for women and LGBTQ folks, and even included a couple of omni-gender restrooms. This is particularly encouraging to see given that much of the gaming industry still caters to white hetero males. Next year? I'd love to see more people of color at Metatopia. I'd love to figure out how to help make that happen. 

Chris holding court. :) (Not pictured: Me, beaming with pride.)

Chris holding court. :) (Not pictured: Me, beaming with pride.)

SO. MANY. GAMES.

Like, so many. They have this big board set up where you can sign up for games (if you're not already signed up). And it's massive. And for the newbie, completely overwhelming. We luckily had someone tell us the general breakdown of the board, which helped. But I really wish we had registered for games in advance. Somehow we missed that memo. Anyway, we participated in some really fun games, and were able to give feedback that I hope was helpful. 

There were times I sat in awe, watching Chris and some of the other gamers in their element. I think skilled gamers are the result of two things: experience and creativity. I don't think I expected to be inspired at the gaming table, but I was. Multiple times.

One thing that made me feel fairly uncomfortable was the way some of the feedback was being given. Chris and I talked up this at length on the ride home. I feel like the best way to provide feedback is to start by asking questions, then listening to their intentions, and then providing feedback: 

  • QUESTION: When you included X mechanic, what were you trying to do? 

  • FEEDBACK: Have you considered looking at X game system to provide a mechanic that better fits what you're trying to do?
     

  • QUESTION: Did you intend to make X easier for players? If so, why?

  • FEEDBACK: It was easier, but fun. If you wanted to make it more difficult, you could . . . 

I've seen that others have been posting about this issue as well. Providing constructive feedback can be difficult. And when you're in a new space with new people, sometimes people are trying to prove their "street cred" by dropping a bunch of information/names/gaming knowledge where it might not be warranted. Look, it's a temptation for many of us in new settings. When you find yourself in that situation doing something like that, I think it's usually wise just to stop talking. 

SO. MUCH. TO LEARN.

Like I mentioned, Metatopia taught me that I have much to learn. So many panels, so much information! And some conversations, like the one we had with one of the publishers Chris is working with, opened up new ideas and new paths to explore. As Chris (and I, by association) embark on this game developing/designing journey, it has become crystal clear that we have much to learn about game design and publishing. And, I mean, who knew that the gaming world is on Google Plus? Who knew that anyone was actually on Google Plus? (Okay, I guess many of YOU knew, but I sure as hell didn't. )

This particular panel on publishing spiraled a little bit. But still interesting.

This particular panel on publishing spiraled a little bit. But still interesting.

SO. MUCH. FUN. 

Let me be honest here. I don't love gaming like most of the people at this con do. I want to love gaming, but I generally put up with it and try to enjoy it. But I really had a lot of fun at Metatopia. Being a part of the design process of other people's games gave me a deeper understanding of the various mechanics and the choices that game designers make to provide a better experience for the players. My experience at the con also taught me why I haven't really loved gaming so far (I think. This isn't science, people.). All those damn stats. Math was never my strong suit, so the stats in things like Pathfinder feel very limiting and make me want to tear my hair out. It was great to see new systems that embrace a more fluid way of advancing the game. 

Chris got invited to participate in a film about diversity in gaming. John, we can't wait to see the finished product!

Chris got invited to participate in a film about diversity in gaming. John, we can't wait to see the finished product!

So that's it for Metatopia 2015. My virgin con status has been retired, and I look forward to next year. 

Next year? 

Yep.